(no subject)

Jun. 24th, 2017 09:40 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I suspect my house is more humid since I got rid of the piano.
all that century old dust must have been soaking up all sorts.

also, the weather keeps making it not very pleasant in here.

Doctor Who

Jun. 24th, 2017 07:32 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I'm withholding judgement until next week.
Once I know what they've done I'll know how I feel about it.

The other Summer of Giles fic

Jun. 24th, 2017 07:43 am
usedtobeljs: (Lorne Damn! by Bouncy Monkey)
[personal profile] usedtobeljs
A short piece but mine own, a Season Six fixit diverging from canon after "Flooded," with a guest appearance by my beloved Lorne --

"Get Happy", wherein Giles and Anya go to Los Angeles for their first weekend together. Storylines are changed, the good word is given, all for a couple of snippets of song.

Cheers to all.

Books!

Jun. 23rd, 2017 11:29 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Is there anything more satisfying than spending the day doing inventory?

... or more frustrating? Read more... )



New shelves!

(no subject)

Jun. 23rd, 2017 04:00 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Today I definitely slept twelve hours, broken a couple times with drink breaks. Possibly more.
Guess moving every box and book in the house repeatedly makes you tired.

Also yesterday I bought a fan and today the weather went acceptable again so I don't need it.
You're welcome ;-)

Probably it was the being cooler and no window open that let the sleeping work.

For values of work that involved dreaming a mage caused epidemic that killed fifteen thousand people.

It was an interesting setup, college of magic, rules about celibacy, me and Magneto and the Professor planning to break them, Julian Bashir turning up for the medical parts along with his politician older twin Alex. Plenty of romance options and bonus magic. But the bit with all those thousands of people bleeding from the everywhere kind of took all the fun out of the other parts. Read more... )

I also dreamed that the reason I'm... built with a handy energy reserve suitable for surviving starvation rations... is that I'm instinctively good at the spell Monk's Feast. Hmm, dreamed it wrong, in GURPS it's Monk's Banquet. Either way, it's the spell where you can go without food or water for a day because magic took care of it. If I cast that and ate anything on top, that would all be bonus calories and end up going to my waist.

Pretty good excuse.

But I've spent most of the afternoon, it feels like, dreaming about the various slightly bad tasting penance rations of the college of magic, so I think I'm hungry. I'll go eat a real food.

Shoppings happened

Jun. 22nd, 2017 08:46 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Dancing did not happened. I cancelled it because I had forgotten how horrible it is to move around in this weather, and then spent all day moving around in this weather.

New shelves are functioning correctly and filling nicely. Comic boxes are in their new home and plenty of space above for the magazines, as soon as I rearrange the house enough I can get at the magazines.

I figured dancing would be either indoors in the hot humid nastiness or outside on the irregular surface under grey skies with possibility of rain and, earlier, thunder. So I did not go. And next week I won't be going because Norfolk Show means all of Norfolk trying to get through one roundabout about when I'd need to go round it. And neither of these decisions please me, but they're the right ones. probably. but boo.

Shopping worked pretty good. I got a new plate to be for serving foods on, but got it in ordinary plate size and not their serving platter. I'm not sure that one would fit in the sink, let alone the washer. I also bought a tower fan, which I suspect is Too Much Fan, but okays, I have it now. It makes a variety of weird noises and the timer continues to make noise after you've unplugged it, so seems like that bit is clockworks or something, That or it's about to blow up, guess I'll find out.

Foods also worked, everything in its place, and there were two brands of non dairy ice cream with two or possibly even more flavours each! I bought the sort I've tried before in chocolate and vanilla. If I eat it all I can try the alpro. But obviously that will take a while.

... it better take at least two weeks cause I'm shopping more local next week. Means I'll miss picking up my apple thing. Boo.

My day was only exciting if you appreciate good shelving and alphabetisation, but I do, so, :-)

(no subject)

Jun. 22nd, 2017 12:07 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
today so far i had to talk to two humans, which is tricky
well three if you count phoning my mum, and four if you count picking up the phone to office noise and a voice I couldn't make out, but two in person.

the shelf thing is resolved by getting extra shelves, and his assurance the shelf going dadunk dadunk will work out fine (and my realising I could just not use that shelf and continue to stack the boxes if it don't work out fine).

it is Far Too Hot to be doing, and yet I had to do the vacuum cleaning, to sort out the carpet after the deliveries. and also clean the shelves, which are a bit dusty. and then judging the height turned into putting books on, which only was Jones because I can't find Kay until I put the Analog collection back. but it is far too hot, so I'm sweating and trying to drink steadily.

If I put enough books in order I can put my chair back in its rightful place, and also get at the other computer again.

but if I wait until later it must get cooler eventually. and I'm planning to buy a fan. if Sainsburys still has them after all this.

Superhero names

Jun. 20th, 2017 03:58 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
There are layers of trouble with superhero names.

Today I am daydreaming being a superhero and I get as far as introducing myself and I start feeling all apologetic and like it's going to work about as well as movie Star Lord.

Like, okay, there is this tradition of renaming yourself for a particular ...task, role, lifestyle. That's pre established. And there's reasons for it like protect loved ones and avoid being drafted. Layers of argument to be had there, about accountability and so forth, but that just means it needs to be a persistent pseud. See also every argue about anonymity on the internet. But unlike screen names, which anyone can sign up for and are mostly not going to be read for deeper meaning, a superhero or supervillain name is, like, saying you're a Name.

Like you might not be claiming you're A-list but you're still saying you can play.

Read more... )


If I was on the Flash I'd not just be arresting 'villains', I'd be trying to recruit them. Think of all those powers harnessed for good! And of course it can work, Eo!Wells had Killer Frost working for him, anyone can make the new choice. And like that guy who bullied Barry in school, given the chance to step up he died to protect others. Okay, by generous interpretation, but still. They live in a world that doesn't have an ongoing tradition of heroism to step in to, someone has to get it started. And they're working at STAR labs, so that's the perfect excuse to go with All Star Squadron.

... not that I've read any of those adventures, it's an old Name from before before, but an issue was also the first appearance of 'retroactive continuity', which, with all the time travel, seemed appropriate. ... I thought I read the word retcon started there, but a different wiki page says that had to wait for 1988, and the phrase version was 1983.

ANYway, I can name the team, as long as I don't imagine myself founding the Justice League or Avengers. But naming me?

A superhero name is in some respects a declaration of one's qualities, and it seems arrogant.

But. What seemed creepy to me in the Flash? Cisco naming everyone.
Wells points out that someone already has a name, but given that Wells is Reverse Flash he's not a viable moral compass, even when he's right.
It was in the episode Power Outage, and they'd just killed the dude, and Wells had made a big deal of knowing all the names of all the people he'd killed in the 'accident' with the particle accelerator - though some of those were probably 'killed' and actually just got their powers, seeing as everyone he had memorised was a known name in other 'verses.
So in context knowing his name - the real name of a real dead person - is a mark of respect. But even after Team Flash capture people, they keep calling them by names Cisco assigned them. And that's quite the reverse.

Barry in Supergirl's world refers to an electric villain. "We call him Blackout."
... dude was in a bodybag, he never called himself that.
Why keep referring to him that way?

It's dehumanising and it distances them from their own consequences.

I can see why they'd need a filename for each meta when they don't know who they're chasing, but continuing to refer to them that way after? Not cool.

Except of course when someone like Cold takes it up and runs with it. But even then, he announced himself to the world, he left off the Captain part, and team Flash I think kept using it.


Renaming other people, super rude.

Renaming yourself, super assertive.



Maybe if I thought smaller I'd feel more like the names fit. But I always pick one that's like More Boss Than Anyone, or something where I know what it's meant to mean, like I'm some kind of good example, and then I just... can't always imagine actually wearing the things.

I certainly never use them anywhere people can see. Even though naming your characters is perfectly respectable. ... though not so much your marysue ocs...



So there's a lot of practical layers to the naming thing - like do you go with something that tells your powers or conceals them, and how many syllables is even practical anyway - but I always get stuck on, just, like

hi, I'm a hero

... even for the length of a story I feel weird getting that far.



... which may explain one part of my writers block.


But I have seen so many more characters I'm supposed to look up to than characters I can even slightly identify with, I just feel... small. And like the stories happen to someone else.

And yet it's so powerful whenever the story tells you to be your own hero.



So I should be able to stand up and choose a Name.


... I just might have to put up with the laughing for a while until the plot makes me big enough to wear it...
usedtobeljs: (Ganya Partners in Crime from Gwynne)
[personal profile] usedtobeljs
I wasn't going to do Summer of Giles again, but what can I say, I'm weak.

A little something will be coming on Saturday, but for this posting day, a little canon, a little I&A --

"Five Times Clothes Made the Man, and One Time They Didn't". Touch of Giles/Ethan, touch of canon Giles/Joyce, but it's I&A. It's about Giles, clothes, and identity.

Hugs to all.

Dreamed Oz again today.

Jun. 20th, 2017 11:51 am
beccaelizabeth: animated: Oz from Buffy the vampire slayer, looking at a piece of paper, then up at viewer, puzzled. (Oz)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I like it that he keeps being my age. Some of my dream people just do not keep up, and then I'm like, really? But my subconscious does at it will.

Dreamed we were house hunting, as per usual.
... look I don't know what it is about this particular werewolf that apparently seems so domestic, but this is what I dream, we go look for places.
Not together to start with though, we met at an open house, somewhere that was awesome with wrap around windows on what would be a balcony except they'd been realistic about British weather. But you got a three sided view and a very industrial vibe with the railings and the bricks and all. It was great.
But like I said to him, when he asked if I was taking this one, I'd find it great like ten percent of the time. The rest of the time I'd want back in my mole palace. And where would you put the books? A whole room with no books? Doesn't work.

... and then I was like, hi, how have you been? Because in this dream we were awkward off and on exes who had been really trying to go make separate lives this time but kept bumping into each other exactly when we were trying to go someplace new and different. Too much in synch to stay apart, too wolfy to stay together. Like, logically, that's just too much of a risk.
... logic took a back seat and we went from hands on arms to all hugs pretty much soon as see each other, and I checked I wasn't being cruel, but he was right there with me, so, back to my place.

Where also as per usual the whole thing turned into demons and fighting, but, it was a nice start. Awful end though, with hurting a small child while trying to stop a demon using spray stuff. Hated that part. Would not do, would be careful and responsible demon hunter with better defences in the first place.

But I like Oz. Dream Oz is pretty much calm and in control now, except in fun ways. It's nice.

Too hot

Jun. 19th, 2017 07:18 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Record high temperatures are happening.
There are articles on the bbc right now about road tar melting.
I think it is fair to say British structures are not built for this.

I got rid of the heater cooler thing because I had too much anxiety about actually using it. Don't know why. Anxiety is unhelpful that way.

But now I need to replace it. I need to decide how fancy things need to be and if I just want a floor fan from Tesco or something. But I need something that moves the air around.

Am melting. Can see me in the really reflective new TV, and there is too much of me, and it looks kind of melted. Which is age appropriate but funny.

I'd like to open a window for air but it honestly might still be more hot out there than in here still.

toooooooooo hot.

Doctor Who : Eaters of Light

Jun. 17th, 2017 11:15 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Someone at the BBC needs yelled at.

The Doctor and Bill arrive in Scotland in Roman legion invasion times.
Bill meets a black man
He dies.
Read more... )

(no subject)

Jun. 17th, 2017 08:10 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
went for a lie down at 1745, woke up at 1945 realising Doctor Who had just happened.
But the iplayer works so well I'm not worried. And the iplayer is my first thought over even the recorder box, which I know just did.


Dreamt something complex with a murder mystery that's hard to investigate because cloning. Read more... )


A remote worker partnered with a replicant investigating natural twins is a starting point to demonstrate social prejudice about origins, even before you add the assumed racism and ablism.

But I think it requires someone more socially adept than me to go into that kind of ground without just echoing the nasty, instead of doing something worthwhile with it.

I mean there has to be some kind of conclusion based on good is a thing you do not a thing you are, and the difference between honor and reputation especially when reputation is collective. But... tricky.

(no subject)

Jun. 17th, 2017 12:42 am
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
On the one hand, my neighbours taste in music is kind of unobjectionable tonight
On the other, it is 0042 and someone has already tried shouting SHUT UUUUUUUUP
which shut the dog up, but still, music.

got to love summer.

Time traveller types

Jun. 16th, 2017 05:41 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I realise it is unproductive to yet again get stuck wondering
which butterfly got stepped on
but I have spent the day reading so much on fire safety (so much. the Guardian coverage alone is extensive, and I found myself checking other papers, as if there were secret nicer timeline news out there instead)
and it's equally unproductive in the end, but worse for my mental health.

so, butterflies, and time travel.

Read more... )

I'm kind of seeing time traveller retired ladies, pillars of the bake sale and horticultural society, always ready with a quiet word, and knowing who to speak it to for most relevant effect.


But maybe time traveller little old ladies who used to be space marines. So they can train local forces, if something too outre turns up.

... and maybe can still fit into the power armour, on special occasion...



Trouble with writing this stuff is I maybe might be able to pull off time travel as heists, working around the eyes of history to improve the timeline nobody sees, but I'm woefully uninformed on how... actual people work? So all this stuff with being part of a community, I'd not know where to start with that. I mean, I watch films where people hit problems until they go away, I'm just reasonably certain it's no damn use in the vast majority of circumstances. Cathartic though. So I keep defaulting to that.


But what you really need are good planners who can get people organised and moving, and even more, people that know how to listen.

These movie sorts that charge in reckoning they know best are dramatic, but the ability to listen to the right warnings and learn from other people's plans is the only way to be better than one single human in a wilderness.




Sometimes I feel I should get more involved in actual politics. Try and get real things done. But that would involve talking or otherwise communicating with real people, and working in groups, and people wanting to choose me to work in their group, and just being able to work in the first place. And even fulfilling all those conditions, the worse the problem is, the harder I bounce off into talking science fiction, because there's only so much I can even.

So then I think I should just write up the fiction. Get people moving that way.

... and then I see my recent word count and just kind of feel bad.




But. Butterflies.

Small maybe works, for to start.

Butterflies and Thunder

Jun. 16th, 2017 01:31 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
"Embedded in the mud, glistening green and gold and black, was a butterfly, very beautiful and very dead."

Poll #18499 Is this butterfly green gold black
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4


http://www.eurobutterflies.com/sp/pandora.php

View Answers

Yes
1 (33.3%)

No
2 (66.7%)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ornithoptera_priamus

View Answers

Yes
1 (33.3%)

No
2 (66.7%)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nymphalis_antiopa

View Answers

Yes
0 (0.0%)

No
3 (100.0%)

What other species should I look at?

Which one was it in A Sound of Thunder?

View Answers

Argynnis pandora
0 (0.0%)

Ornithoptera priamus
0 (0.0%)

Nymphalis antiopa
0 (0.0%)

Something that would be written in the text box
0 (0.0%)

Something prehistoric that doesn't exist anymore
4 (100.0%)

Hanging Fire, Post #27

Jun. 15th, 2017 08:04 pm
usedtobeljs: (Default)
[personal profile] usedtobeljs
A long time since posting, but...

The writer Henry James often used a phrase which was once apparently common -- "hanging fire" -- although I only came to know the phrase through his work. According to the Oxford Concise Dictionary, it means 'to delay or to be delayed in taking action.' Googling tells me it comes from artillery. In James' prose there was something powerful, a kind of opportunity for ambiguity, when a character was hanging fire.

In my life it makes me anxious. I don't like the ambiguous power of not knowing.

In my last post I mentioned that my father wasn't doing well. In fact he is now in hospice. The nurses have told us that they didn't expect him to make it more than a day or two after the initial illness, but two weeks later now and he is, well, hanging fire: losing weight and strength, not entirely lucid, wasting away, but still here. He doesn't want to be here, I have to say, and it is all heartbreaking.

I've been flying back and forth to see him, but this week I am here with Master Danger and subtropical rain and work. Next week -- if he is still with us -- I will fly to see him again.

There is too much space in not knowing.

I hope all is well with all of you, and may you know what you need and get it.

(no subject)

Jun. 15th, 2017 09:27 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Dancing was Outside today.

Which means the floor is all rough and variable, and there's almost no space, so backing up means backing into the road bit. I know we're on school grounds and it's just a drive to a car park, but there were two cars, and I do not like it.

Also it is harder to remember the dance when your feet so not trust the floor and you have to keep watch for cars.

I know it was hot, but I dislike this solution, especially since the sound was all wrong and the air made my throat hurt from all that green outsideness.

But we did a bunch of learnings and we did the dance where we step forwards and back into the gaps in the line and there were indeed gaps in the line. So we win at dancing.

Sainsburys shopping was good, Asda no longer has five alive in their website, and I can't find anywhere else at all at all to buy it. Big sulk. But I have a bunch of Ribena so I guess that will have to do for the rest of ever.

I'm actually in a pretty good mood but that's cause I filed the sulking away on the way to the next thing. Which is a useful skill.

Hope everyone had nice days.

meditate

Jun. 14th, 2017 09:49 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I went to meditation but today it was pretty much just feeling too hot and staring at the floor, so that was a bit blah.

But is okay, that happens sometimes.

Is still more interesting than feeling too hot and staring at the ceiling at home.

con planning

Jun. 14th, 2017 01:42 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I dreamt I checked in to a hotel for an afternoon nap - while I was having my afternoon nap - and by coincidence there was an SF convention setting up ready for the weekend. It had a room full of craft tables and another where someone needed to make name badges. It did not have huge numbers of name badges, nor had it filled the hotel to the point I couldn't randomly get a room. So I was like yaay party, but also oops the fading away of conventions.

I looked on the con calendar I know about and as well as a lot of local sounding things that don't give you much info on what they actually do, there was one for a fandom I've partied with before. But it's a month before the event and they have one guest announced. And the shiniest con passes cost £595. The cheapest ones cost £120. Could this really be what cons cost these days? Who turns up for a one guest convention with no recent announcements anyway?

Finding out about these things when there's no word of mouth in my circles anymore because I barely HAVE circles anymore is just... trickier than it used to be. And I know some stuff happens on facebook, but I can never find it. Same problem tumblr, though I see photos after. Twitter baffles me because so bite sized and yet people bend and best it to be longer rather than moving somewhere that works. And anywhere I look it's either drowning in chatter or fading away.

I'm not saying I miss mailing lists, but, well, some days, you know?

probably fandom is somewhere, but it's not on topic, and it's not where i can find it.



and I'm not booked to go to any cons before next Redemption, which is having date and location difficulties, but is nice when it works.



I know what I'm looking for in a con has changed too, but since it hasn't changed to gigantic signing fair, that hasn't made things easier to find.



So, had a nap, woke up grumpy about my lack of parties lately.


once I got over the panic breathing bit where I was lost in an endless hotel where all the stairs had been replaced by ladders and there was no lift.

... not a restful nap.




Sometimes I try and think of things to do
and realise I could plan a thing myself.
If I planned it small enough and considered it a 'money goes out' sort of gig then I wouodn't need to worry it would turn out like last time.
... last time was twenty years ago, I was... more ill, it was overly ambitious, and in the end not even my mother turned up. so. several people have been instructed to sit on me if I try and do that again. But the fact remains that people do, and semi successfully on occasion, so I theoretically could.

Don't know what I'd even do though.



Maybe start smaller. Maybe invite known writers to the Norwich Science Fiction Group and call it an Evening With, very exclusive, like a dozen people or however many fit in the basement.

... maybe invite favourite actors, you never know your luck...

Course from their point of view it might not be so much lucky if only the usual two of us turn up...

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